Military Wife Rules -- Love This!

I came across this and it made me laugh. Every one of them is so true when your married to the military. Through the last 8 years I have come to realize all this. I just had to post and share it with everyone.


1. Don't count on anything!


2.Be careful who you listen to. Most of your civilian friends will give you negative remarks, which will make things harder for you to deal with.


3. When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the butt, just remind yourself he's probably had a bad day, and being away from you is hard on him too. So just let him rant and don’t take it personal.


4. When you’re down, treat yourself.


5. Learn how to listen if you don’t know how! He will need you, you will be the one he comes to when he needs to complain, but don’t complain back...that is what military wives/fiances/gf's for! This is a hard time for our men and they NEED us much more than sometimes they think they do!


6. Love your military member, be truthful, and reassure him, even if he is deployed he'll have someone to come back too!



7. He will try to pull away at some point. Whether directly telling you to move on, not wait for him or just becoming distant. It's a way they try of dealing, stick with him cause he really does want (and need) you there.





8. When he is away for a long time, or even just a couple hours away, write a lot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship.


9.SOME of his friends will probably be morons - expect this

10. You aren’t the only woman in his life (his mom misses and loves him too!) so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.



11. He needs to feel important so don't hold back on the compliments - remind him how proud you are of what he does.


12. Chances are they won't call when they say they will (that especially applies for deployed!).



13. Don't buy that nonrefundable airplane ticket too early.


14. When eating with a military member you either finish your "chow" in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished.


15. Never take one single minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like it’s the last one you'll have for a while, because with the military, it just might be!


16. Take lots of pictures, so you can remember what each other looks like!


17. Don't even TRY to compare your military member to ordinary men. You can no longer complain about broken plans, that phone call you were supposed to get but didn't, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey, at least he's sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" than you, etc., etc., etc...


18. Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal-pals get their first encounter, first date, first kiss from their men over and over again?



19. Gotta be able to keep up with your man. We give our military man a whole new meaning of PT =)


20. Even if he says he will, he probably won't. Maybe really means probably not OR probably not when he said he would (example: "I might be able to call you tomorrow" but he can't find the time to call until a week later or "I might be able to come home next month for a week"...that might turn into 2 weeks)


21. Being a military girlfriend/fiancé can be one of the toughest jobs. You have to deal with stress similar as the wives, without the promise of forever or the benefits and support they get.



22. We find ourselves using military lingo. "I'm gonna go get my room squared away", "It's chow time", or using military time



23. Patience is the biggest key to making the relationship work...you have to wait a lot but in the end, waiting is what made it all worthwhile♥

E.R. Visit & Kids

I feel like a hermit crab lately. Been mostly stuck in the house lately. Between everyone having a bug not too long ago plus my trip to the E.R. The last few days I have been having horrible headaches that have had me dizzy, nausea, sensitive to light, etc. All weekend I was in bed sleeping on and off. Well Monday I was home alone with the younger boys when I fainted. I remember talking to my middle son Caleb and the next waking up on the floor wondering what happen. Called Vance at work scared and confused on what to think. He was able to get off early and come home. Went to the E.R. to get checked out and make sure both baby & myself was fine. They ended up doing a cat scan since the doctor wanted to rule out brain aneurysm. So I did the cat scan and everything came back fine. He did say that if the headaches get any worse that he wants me to have a spinal tap. That it's the only way to 100% rule out brain aneurysm. But the cat scan showed nothing of concern. The thought of a spinal tap freaks me out and I hope I don't have to get one. For the most part the headaches have lighten up.

The kids are doing great as usual. Bryce is doing a lot better in school. Mrs. Mannino says Bryce has improved 100%. He has became a teachers pet and pays attention more in class. His hand writing has improved so much lately. He use to never put effort in it. Now he can sit and do home work and practice for hours without getting frustrated. He loves coming home and telling me all about his day. He wakes up every morning at 7 ready to start his day with a big smile on his face. I love that he's not struggling anymore and that he can actually enjoy school now.

Caleb is doing good in head start. He's become a little flirt and hangs out mostly with all the girls in his class. His teacher says he loves to cuddle at story time and is always telling her how beautiful she is. I love how at this age their little sweethearts. He loves wood working. It's his favorite center to play in during their free time. He loves to use his imagination and build things.

Aiden is keeping me on my toes. I thought having 2 in school would make my day easier. Ha, nope! Aiden can be a handful now that his brothers are gone. He just thinks he runs the house constantly finding things to get into. Then he gives me this cheesy grin when he knows he isn't suppose to be in something. It's hard not to laugh at times.

Other then that nothing new is going on here. Same day to day routines. Waiting for October 1st to get here to find out the sex of our little nugget. This will defiantly be our last baby. Vance see's his doctor later this month for a vasectomy. Out little family is officially complete. I'm looking forward to moving on to the next chapter of our lives.

Is it April yet!?

I'm ready for April 28 to get here. That is officially move to Georgia day! I'm ready to move out of this apartment complex. It's one big headache living here. They have a new manager every few months. No one listens to the rules. Some neighbors are just flat out odd. I mean chest bumping doors to see what ya have. Or fighting and cursing where small kids play. That's just not cool. My kids don't need to hear that. I won't let the boys swim in the pool. To many people getting drunk and starting fights by it. Plus I've seen some people having sex in it and everything else when the office is closed. Now don't get me wrong we have some awesome neighbors who we love! But everyone has either moved or is thinking about moving soon. Which sucks because we have/will miss everyone. I know the kids have/will. :(


They charge way to much for utility's in the last few months. When we first moved here they only charged 70 for utility's on a bad month. Lately it's been around 300. Well Vance found out from the new manager that the old one was fired because she was stealing the money that she was over charging for utility's. But they don't have enough to press charges. Not sure what to think about all of that. I'll wait to see my next bill. If the utility's go down I might just believe them. Til then I'm skeptical..

Personally I'm ready for us to move back in a house. I can't wait to have our own home again. A backyard for the kids and dogs to play. Plus a mortgage would be way cheaper for what we pay now and we would have twice the amount of space. With 4 kids we're going to need lots of space. Plus I'm ready to settle down in our dream home and just retire there. I love the area in Georgia where we are moving to. Low crime rate, nice family neighborhood, etc.

The kids are doing better. Bryce has made some improvements in class this week. So I'm happy that he is doing better in school and seems to enjoy it more now. Caleb loves his class. He is friends with all the girls. I think it's cute when they all hug him and tell him how sweet he is. He's my little heart breaker, lol. Aiden is feeling so much better now. I took him to the E.R. last monday for a 103 fever I could not break. Turned out he had horrible infections in both ears. One ear drum even bust while waiting to see a doctor there. Plus he has 6 teeth cutting. So his week has been crappy. They gave him some much needed antibiotics and tylenol codone for the pain. He is done with the antibiotics Monday. And doesn't need the tylenol codone anymore. Seems to be fine with just plain motrin. So I'm glad my peanut is back to his happy self for the most part.

Pregnancy is going good. I see my doctor again on the September 15 then the 16 for down syndrome ultrasound and blood work. We find out the baby sex on October 1st at 10am. Found a place who could tell me what baby is at 14 weeks. October 1st marks 14 weeks for me. Eek we're very excited to see what baby is. Vance and the older boys are convinced this will be a sissy. I am too. We shall see. I just want a fat healthy little nugget and I'll be happy. I'm going for the VBAC even if I end up going late. I will have my VBAC. I'm not forcing this nugget out before she/he is ready to make their arrival into the world. And my doctor seems to be all aboard with me on this.

Well I'm off here, going to get some sleep. The boys are passed out for the night.

Learning Disabilitys

My oldest son Bryce has a learning disability. Which has him behind when it comes to other kids his age. Back in April we were told he couldn't hear out of his left ear. He went to an E.N.T. who did a few test on his ears and even did a deep wax cleaning to see if it would help. Well after the cleaning he was able to see Bryce's ear drums are in need of surgery to repair the damage. He said Bryce a moderate hearing loss in his right ear and severe hearing loss in his left ear. Will now lately Bryce has told me "mommy I can't hear out this (left) ear at all." He is schedule to see an specialist in Denver on the first who will be doing the surgery on his ears to help bring his hearing back and repair his ear drums.

Bryce has been in school since August 10. They wait til TODAY to call me and tell me my son is not listening. That he does completely fine only when a teacher sits right in his ear. That they have moved him three times and he is not keeping up with the other kids. What annoys me is. When I ask if they looked at his paper the lady got quiet. Said "oh I didn't think his hearing was that bad." I'm glad they called me. They were wanting to make him skip P.E. and Recess in til he was able to sit in his chair and pay full attention. Will that would have done completely nothing. I had to explain to them that it doesn't matter where they put my child. If his teacher walks away to the other side and talks he can not hear. So this lead into a 30 minute phone conference of me basically repeating when they should have known from his folder. That he needs more attention then other children and will need to be spoken directly to understand when she wants him to do.

What annoys me is that instead of calling me sooner. They wait til they had removed him out of his class and wanted to punish him for something he can't help. If they would have checked his folder they would have understood better what he was going through. Or even called me sooner. She even suggest that he had a.d.d in til I corrected her about his hearing problems. Ugh, I was fuming and trying to keep my temper under control. Yea let's blame it on a.d.d. I hate that school just assume your kid needs meds instead of trying to understand what he is going through. I hope the school year gets easier. They said they would work on it with him. Now that they understood better. I told them I would keep them updated from his doctor apt. and surgery. He most likely will need a hearing aid after surgery to help him. Hopefully Bryce will be able to focus and understand the assignments better.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for his actual teacher to call me like I requested. So that I may help her understand better on what he needs to learn. I'm looking up ways myself to help him focus and learn around the house.

What to pick?

Baby is doing good. Nice strong heartbeat. I didn't get to listen to it but saw it on the ultrasound screen. They change my due date to March 31. So that puts me at 8 weeks tomorrow not 9 weeks. Which is fine as long as baby is healthy and growing.

He gave me some options for the delivery. I'm not sure what to pick. Told me to go home and think about it that it doesn't have to made right off the bat. I have a few months to decide. I mean baby won't be here til the end of March so plenty of time. I could go for a schedule c-section. Which mean March 24 baby will be here. Or I could try to go naturally. He says I can't really be induced but if I could get 2-3 cm on my own he would break my water and get it going for me. And the last choice is schedule c-section for 39 weeks. And if I don't have baby naturally by then we will go ahead with it.

I'm really not sure what I want to do at the moment. I really want a v-bac it is so much easier to heal from. But he had to scare me with thoughts of uterine rupture. He said it only happens in 1% which isn't such a high risk. But I guess the thought freaks me out. But the thought of being cut open scares me a lot more. I don't want to feel them cut me open and I'm scared the spinal tap won't take. I don't know what to do. What should I do? I guess all I can do is think it over for awhile.

I have read so many success stories on having a v-bac and I want to be one of those. I want to enjoy having my baby. Not feel like it was ripped out of me. Does that make sense? I read this qoute that describes c-sections. "If babies were meant to enter the world through our belly buttons our vagina's would be there." I think c-sections are now being use a convenience and not what it's meant for. At this rate in no time all women will be giving birth through c-sections. Which is sad because a vaginal birth is so much better. And you feel so much more connected to your baby. At least for me that's how I feel.

If anyone has any advice or opinions please leave me a comment.

I have the best hubby

Saturday night was hubs first day off since our 6 year wedding anniversary. He had to work on the actual day and I felt like I was dying of morning sickness. Back to the point. He had the dining table set up with champagne glasses and brought home Olive Garden. (My fave!) Set the food on our dishes made a nice romantic atmosphere and we had a nice evening together. The boys were passed out for the night. So we got to eat a nice dinner and spend time together. I love how he had sparkling apple cider in the champagne glasses since I'm pregnant and can not drink. It was one of the best anniversary's ever. I love that we were able to spend time together without the boys. You can still have a romantic date without actually going out or worrying about finding a baby sitter who can handle 3 very energetic little boys.

Thank you for the wonderful evening sweetie. I love you forever & always!

Pregnancy and kids

Woohoo a few more days and I can see my little nugget. Have my ultrasound on Wednesday and will finally see the little nugget. Which makes it all real. Right now I'm like yea the stick says I'm pregnant but we'll see, lol. I will be 9 weeks on Thursday. Most likely will have a c-section around 38 weeks. So I have 29 more weeks left in til we meet the little nugget. I think it will finally be a girl. I have this feeling I will have my girl finally. I really hope so. But if it's another boy I will be just as happy. Just want a healthy baby in the end.

Now to vent a little. At the moment I'm a little disappointed in myself today. I've gained 6 lbs in the last few weeks. God why is it so easy to gain weight but not as easy to lose it? I'm freaking going to start working out in the morning again while the kids play. I don't want to gain all the weight back that I lost. Defiantly want to bounce back from this baby in no time.

The kids are doing good. Aiden is getting 4 back teeth in at the moment. So sleep has been rare lately. I'm so tired all the time. I'm taking a unisom tonight and getting some sleep. Vance is gonna take care of him. Caleb meets his teacher Wednesday and then school starts soon after. Two kids in school this year. I'm not sure what to do with the time. Bryce is doing fine in school and he loves his friends. He looks forward to school every morning and thinks it's cool. He calls the cafeteria the cafe. How it's so awesome to eat there. I'm glad that he is loving school.

Bryce has surgery next month on his ears to try and help him hear out of his left ear. Hoping everything goes well. The worse thing possible is he'll get a hearing aid. Which is no biggie and I think he'll do fine. I just want him to be able to hear better.

I'm going to get off here and take my sleeping pill. Though I don't even think I will need it really.

My baby is all grown up!

So this was Bryce's first week of kindergarten. Kindergarten! I still can't believe it. It seems like yesterday he was my little 7lb baby who would pee on me every chance he got. Now he's doing everything it seems like on his own. He never really seems to need my help anymore nor does he want it. The first day of kindergarten was bitter sweet. I was happy to be one kid less but also sad that he wasn't around at all. I kept calling for him then I would have to stop and remember he was at school for the day. I'm so proud of my little man just wish he wasn't growing up so fast.

He loves his teacher though. Tells me all the time how sweet and pretty she is. How she let him be her class helper and put him in the front row so he could hear better. I love how he calls the cafeteria a cafe. Or how cool the gym is to run and shoot hoops in. I'm really happy that he loves school and is making new friends. He's all grown up now. :(

Now for a few pictures from meet the teacher night and the morning of his first day.

8 years

I can't believe this month marks 8 years for me & hubs. I'm so happy you came into my life 8 years ago. You are a wonderful husband and an awesome father to our boys. I am so bless to have you in my life and look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. Even when your wearing a diaper and eating jello, lol. I love you babe forever & always!

Now photo's thru the last 8 years that make me smile...

Homecoming mum Vance bought me back in 2002 when we started dating.

^First pic as a couple (2002)

First Christmas together (2002)

^ Being goofy and passing the 15 minutes before we go rinse our faces

Fear

I'm so scared and nervous lately. I have dreams about everything going wrong. I have anxiety about baby's birth. None of my kids have come naturally at all. All 3 of the boys were induced for pre-clampsia or they were late. With this baby I can not be induced due to prior c-section. They say that pitocin can cause uterine rupture. So that has me freaking scared as hell. The idea of another c-section has me scared as well. In fact the thought gives me a panic attack. I had a horrible c-section with Aiden and I'm so scared to do it again with this baby. I'm trying so hard not to panic or stress over it. But it's all I think about and has been giving me nightmares keeping me up at night. I'm terrified and just want to skip the whole birthing experience at the moment.

I'm trying to keep my mind off of it but I can't seem to. Ugh, I'm not sure how I'm going to do when the day gets here. I really want a vaginal birth but none of my kids have come naturally. So pretty sure this baby won't either. They will only let me go one week over. Great, now I'm crying again. I hope this all works out the way I want it too.

I hate military life..

Seriously why can't life ever go my way just one fucking time. All I wanted from the military was to be moved before my due date so that I could be settle in and not worry about moving right after I pop a baby out. But no let's change our minds and make me move after giving birth. Do I look like I want to sit in a car for 30 hours with a newborn while healing? Um, hell no I don't. Plus not setting up for baby at all here in this small ass apartment. To small to even set up in at the moment.

Plus I hate the hospital here they don't listen to me at all. I want to be fixed after this baby. Nope they don't do that here so now I have to wait til I go back to Ga and have Dr. Di do it then. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Only thing good out of this is they will allow a VBAC so no c-section if baby will allow it. So I guess that's something to look forward to.


I just want to cry because I'm so damn fraustrated with the whole damn situation at the moment. My hormones are probably not helping much at the moment either. *Sighs* Someone shoot me already!

Long Time No Update

Figure I would write on here since it's been months since I last wrote. Everything seems hectic lately. Getting ready for Bryce to start school on the 10th. Then Caleb starts soon after in preschool. Which should be nice to only have Aiden home for a few hours through out the day.

I hate bills so much right now. Ready for Vance's pay raise to kick in so that we can be fine again. Also wish my freaking apartment would quit jacking prices up month to month. It's freaking annoying and starting to piss me off. I don't even think they're allowed to do that. We have a contract with them about rent. Ugh is January yet so we can move back to Georgia already.

That's another thing that has me stressed out some. Moving while 30 weeks pregnant with 3 little boys. Should be interesting to say the least. Vance got the Navy to let us move back before my due date so I don't have to move while healing from c-section. Which I'm happy about give us time to settle in new place and get ready for baby. We're looking into some houses to buy. We're both happy to not live in an apartment ever again, lol. We are not apartment people.

Only part that sucks about moving is that we won't be able to go to Texas for Christmas. As we will be getting everything packed up for the movers. Which sucks. I would love to go see family one more time before we head back to Georgia. I know once we go back, we most likely will not be back to Texas for at least 2 years. Which is going to suck so bad. Means no one will meet the newest little nugget til she/he is 2. Kind of bums me out more. But between the kids being in school and Vance getting deployed just won't ever have time. *sighs*


Pregnancy is going good. So far everything is working out. Had a few scared but started to think baby is going to be just fine. Find out the sex October 25. We're going to a 3d/4d place to see baby and find out sex. Best part we can give family and friends a link so they can find out with us from their computers. Even will be able to hear Vance and I talk. Pretty neat. I'm so ready to know if baby is a girl or boy yet. We're thinking girl. *fingers crossed* Wish time would fly by already, lol.


Well going to get off here and give in to my craving for a reese's sonic blast. I know bad when I'm trying not to gain much weight with this baby. BUT sounds so yummy!

Blah Day

So today I went to the doctor because my IUD has been acting up and it hurts so bad having it in. Unfortunately I won't know much more til freaking June 6. I hate tricare at times. I even took my doctors advice and went to the E.R. to fast track tricare and get it check. Do they check it? No. They said it's probably a bladder infection and sent me home. The only thing I learned was I'm not pregnant. Which I figured I wasn't. Glad I'm not as well since my doctor had me convince that getting pregnant with an IUD would kill the baby. Which I don't think I could handle really.

In another note when he said he thought I was pregnant, all I could think about was how terrified I am of having another c-section or hemorrhaging on the table again. It scared me to death. We want another baby, and probably most likely will have one late next year. We're thinking of trying in November. But I'll be scared the whole c-section. I doubt I'll find a doctor to let me go vaginally. I even talk to the doctor I saw today and he said it was very doubtful that I could have a baby vaginally. *sighs* Bryce has been asking me lately if he would ever have a baby sister. All I could say is I don't know. He doesn't want anymore brothers, says they frustrate him.

I've looked into adoption so many times but to come up with money for all the legal fees we can't do. No way we can come up with 25,000. If we could some how come up the money and adopt we would do in a heartbeat. Plus I found out that most birth moms choose families who have no children. I talk to a few people who have been trying to adopt for years and they were told it would be awhile since they already had children. Which is a downer. So I guess I need to give up on the idea of adoption.

Anywho on another note there is absolutely nothing new at all. The kids are fine as always, running around the house. Bryce keeps complaining that summer is too long for him. He is ready to go back to school. Caleb is also ready to start school next year. He told me today that he was a big boy and not my monkey anymore. Which hurt a little bit. Aiden is already starting to get into everything. He learned how to climb onto the the desk, turn the computer off, and climb in the living room window. Oh he also has been trying to climb out the crib. He stacks his stuff animals and trys to get out, lol. I sit there laughing behind the door, watching him.

I guess I'm going to get off here and get some sleep. Hope everyone is doing well.

Home Sick

Lately I've had a horrible case of being home sick. I miss Texas so much lately and wish we could move back there already. But it's not our choice it's all up to the Navy. I'm so sick of moving every few years, it sucks. I just want to move to one spot and stay there forever but I don't see that happening for a long time. It sucks that we only get to go to Texas for 2 weeks, once a year. It's not even enough time to see everyone. I feel like as soon as we get there it's time to leave again.

The kids barely know all of their family, they get use to everyone then off we go. I really hate that the kids will have to move alot growing up. I feel bad, like soon we'll be moving again and Bryce will have to say goodbye to his friends at school. I know I hated moving around and making new friends, growing up. I hated being the new kid. I just don't want them to have to go thru that. But we have no choice that's what military life is.

I'll continue to go along with moving around for Vance. I support his career, even if it means having to move every few years. I'll just keep looking on the bright side of things. I mean we get to see so much moving all the time is some what of a plus, right? Dont get me wrong I'm glad to have met all the people I have met everywhere. Just ready to seattle down in one place for good finally. *sighs* At least I get to see my sister Jean and niece Mia very soon. I think I need this visit really bad. It will be nice to see some family again.

It's been awhile

Have you ever wish you could erase things? I sure do at times, so many things I have erased from my memory growing up. For Mother's day I wanted to erase things. Start the day over and not have that conversation. I know I can't make it go away and it sucks to know. I know in a way I shouldn't let it bother me. It was 6 years ago and I shouldn't care but I do. Looking back I think "boy am I an idiot.". I knew all along in my head my ignored it. I mean everyone warned me and told me I was dumb for getting married. Even his family told me what was going on. But I chose to believe him over everyone else.

I don't really know how I feel at the moment. I'm numb I guess. At first I was a little shocked but not suprised. Which makes it worse that I wasn't suprised. Vance thinks I'm going to blow up later on but I really don't think I will. If I would have known the truth then, I probably would have been done with everything. But after 6 years so many things have changed since then. We have 3 beautiful boys and I'm pretty sure we can move past this. I know he's not perfect, no one is. Time heals everything right?

Ugh I'm rambling but just needed to clear my head. Writing seems to do that for me. Plus this actually makes me feel better.

On another note months after having Aiden I was 240 and now I weigh 200. Woot, Woot! I'm kicking ass and losing weight. Now 20 more pounds and I will be happy. It's been hard but I'm going to keep on going. For my birthday I would love to hit my goal, that is my dream.


The kids are doing good. Getting big and keeping me busy all the time. I feel like I have no time to myself when I'm chasing them around the house. Bryce finishes school for the year this wednesday. Then August 10 he starts kindergarton. He is totally pumped about being in school all day like a big kid. Caleb will start preschool next year. He is trying harder at using the potty more so he can go to school like Bryce. Hopefully he'll be fully potty trained before school starts. Aiden is my little terror now. He is into everything and he is getting better at being sneaky. Even with baby gates he can find his way thru. He piggy backs when his brothers forget to lock it after they go thru. Next thing you know he is in the bathroom playing in the toilet. Something about the bathroom.

Well I'm going to get off here. I'm going to try to post on here more but it's hard with 3 little boys running around.

Fertility Friend

So I'm going for it. Why not give it one more try. I've done research on how to get my baby girl. So much research I should be able wiggle my nose and pop one out, lol. Kidding. But seriously my eyes hurt from all the reading. I am making an apt to get my IUD out as soon as I can. Then I will start charting my cycle til it becomes "normal" again. Right now my IUD has decided to finally make my period not come anymore. I will be on the pill til I can get the cycles figured out, plus I heard its better to be on the pill for at least 2 cycles before becoming pregnant after an IUD. So this I shall do. Plus the IUD is causing me so much crap. One my emotions seem crappy, two my cysts have gone into overdrive landing me in the E.R. in pain. So yea no more IUD.

So in 6 months or so I should be posting a blog reporting that I am pregnant. *crosses fingers* Then 4 months after that we will see what the sex is. Again *crosses fingers*. Yes this will be our last baby as I'm sure my doctors were speaking the truth when they said "only one more baby for you." So I'm praying and hoping I get my baby girl finally. Wish me luck.


Well I'm going to go get some sleep. I'm exhausted, night everyone.

One of the scariest days of my life

So today was a scary day for us as parents. It started out like a normal day at our home. Vance came home from his midshift, everything seem fine. I wasn't feeling too well so he missed in morning class. Which I thank God that he did. Because our baby Aiden started having problems breathing. He was wheezing, and gasping for air. Vance saw him eat some lint and thought he had got it all. Well he then puked tons of mucus up. I mean tons, probably about 1/2 a cup of mucus. Again he started having a tough time breathing. So Vance rushed him to Evans Army Hospital. I stayed behind with the older 2. Since there was no time for me to get them dress. Aiden was really having trouble breathing.

Vance gets there, 3 people listen to his lungs and were worried about his breathing. Sent him to get an xray. Next thing they rush vance and aiden to memorial childrens trama center. The dr there does xray and informs Vance that our baby has something stuck in his esophagus. So straight to an O.R. they take Aiden. Vance stood with him til he was knocked out and had a breathing tube put in. The doctors were able to get in and get a metal screw with jagged edges out right before it got into his tummy. He was lucky a little longer and he would have needed major surgery to get it from his stomach. Man am I so thankful Vance missed class today, and I'm so thankful for the doctors working quick to get it out of Aiden. I was so scared the hour he was knocked out in the O.R. seemed like so freaking long. I was pacing on the phone with my mom worrying about my baby boy.

I was so happy to see my baby come home. I thought he would be crying or upset about everything today. Nope he sat next to me saying "mama" over and over playing with his toys. Gave him a nice warm bottle, bath and he went to bed. He has a sore throat and is on liquids for the next 3-4days. No solids. The doctor said he should be ok. I'm so thankful that he is ok. I hope nothing like this ever happens again. I cried so much worrying about him. I'm crying now thinking about it all.

Today truly was a scary day as a mom. I sat here vacuuming my house over and over. Thinking why didn't I see the screw. Did I not do a good enough job to keep my baby boy safe. Everyone says not to blame myself but I do. I feel like I failed him by not being there to stop him from swallowing it. 3 weeks shy of his first birthday and he had to have his first o.r. experience.

I don't know what else to say. I hope this day never happens again. *sighs*

Bring on the new year..

"Some people should be in your life the entire time and some should just make an appearence."

I think that will be my new motto to go by. It has a nice ring to it and is exactly I feel about some people. No more letting people walk all over me and only talk to me when it is convient to them. Now to tell those people I don't want nothing to do with them should be fun. But I really need to do something about it.

It's been awhile since I actually wrote a blog. Just life has been busy and I really don't have much time it seems anymore. I can't believe it's already a new year. Time seems to be flying by fast it seems.

Aiden will be 1 very soon. Which I'm excited about and yet a little sad. My baby is not a baby anymore. Usually it wouldn't bother me. But this time it does. Probably because I'm not sure if I want to try for a girl again or not. I mean still 50% chance we would have another boy. I don't know if I want to even give it a shot. Part of me is like come on this will be your girl, while the other is like time to close up the baby shop. Move on to the next chapter of life. I have no idea what to go with. So I guess for now I take time and think about it. I just really want a daughter so much. I always have and I hurt inside knowing that I might never have a daughter. I joke about maybe I'll luck out and get all granddaughters. But really, I want a little girl of my own. To have a mother/daughter relationship. It just sucks. Don't get me wrong I love my boys, but its not the same. Ugh why is it I get so emotional thinking about this. I tell myself I won't cry and yet I do. ugh I hate hormones.

We talked about adopting a little girl. I did reaserch on it, and as much as I would love to. I don't know where we would come up with the money to do it. Seriously. In less I know someone personally who is wanting to put their baby up for adoption I don't see it happening. *sighs* Maybe I should just give up on having a little girl. But it's all I think about it seems. Which drives me crazy. I love looking at baby girls stuff, even though I know it makes me sad inside. Maybe I'm just pathetic. Who knows.

On another note my sister is flying here to see me next month with my niece. Who I finally get to meet. I'm totally excited to spoil her and send her back to ga for my sis to deal with, hehe. Love you Jean! :)

The boys are all doing good. Bryce is almost done with his first year of school, and man he's learn so much. He LOVES school. All he talks about are his teachers and classmates. I think he'll be sad when the year comes to an end. Caleb is talking so much more and is actually making an effort to use the potty. Which you know I'm thrilled about. Since I'm ready for him to be out of pullups already. Aiden is almost walking now and loves screeching about everything. He's my little rollie pollie, lol.

Life seems pretty good at the moment. This year so far has started off pretty well. Except for having pnuemonia for awhile its been awesome. Well I'm going to get off here, try not to cry anymore about something I can't make happen. I guess I just needed to vent about it. Maybe one day I won't think about having a little girl all day...who knows?