Blah Day

So today I went to the doctor because my IUD has been acting up and it hurts so bad having it in. Unfortunately I won't know much more til freaking June 6. I hate tricare at times. I even took my doctors advice and went to the E.R. to fast track tricare and get it check. Do they check it? No. They said it's probably a bladder infection and sent me home. The only thing I learned was I'm not pregnant. Which I figured I wasn't. Glad I'm not as well since my doctor had me convince that getting pregnant with an IUD would kill the baby. Which I don't think I could handle really.

In another note when he said he thought I was pregnant, all I could think about was how terrified I am of having another c-section or hemorrhaging on the table again. It scared me to death. We want another baby, and probably most likely will have one late next year. We're thinking of trying in November. But I'll be scared the whole c-section. I doubt I'll find a doctor to let me go vaginally. I even talk to the doctor I saw today and he said it was very doubtful that I could have a baby vaginally. *sighs* Bryce has been asking me lately if he would ever have a baby sister. All I could say is I don't know. He doesn't want anymore brothers, says they frustrate him.

I've looked into adoption so many times but to come up with money for all the legal fees we can't do. No way we can come up with 25,000. If we could some how come up the money and adopt we would do in a heartbeat. Plus I found out that most birth moms choose families who have no children. I talk to a few people who have been trying to adopt for years and they were told it would be awhile since they already had children. Which is a downer. So I guess I need to give up on the idea of adoption.

Anywho on another note there is absolutely nothing new at all. The kids are fine as always, running around the house. Bryce keeps complaining that summer is too long for him. He is ready to go back to school. Caleb is also ready to start school next year. He told me today that he was a big boy and not my monkey anymore. Which hurt a little bit. Aiden is already starting to get into everything. He learned how to climb onto the the desk, turn the computer off, and climb in the living room window. Oh he also has been trying to climb out the crib. He stacks his stuff animals and trys to get out, lol. I sit there laughing behind the door, watching him.

I guess I'm going to get off here and get some sleep. Hope everyone is doing well.