Have you ever wish you could erase things? I sure do at times, so many things I have erased from my memory growing up. For Mother's day I wanted to erase things. Start the day over and not have that conversation. I know I can't make it go away and it sucks to know. I know in a way I shouldn't let it bother me. It was 6 years ago and I shouldn't care but I do. Looking back I think "boy am I an idiot.". I knew all along in my head my ignored it. I mean everyone warned me and told me I was dumb for getting married. Even his family told me what was going on. But I chose to believe him over everyone else.
I don't really know how I feel at the moment. I'm numb I guess. At first I was a little shocked but not suprised. Which makes it worse that I wasn't suprised. Vance thinks I'm going to blow up later on but I really don't think I will. If I would have known the truth then, I probably would have been done with everything. But after 6 years so many things have changed since then. We have 3 beautiful boys and I'm pretty sure we can move past this. I know he's not perfect, no one is. Time heals everything right?
Ugh I'm rambling but just needed to clear my head. Writing seems to do that for me. Plus this actually makes me feel better.
On another note months after having Aiden I was 240 and now I weigh 200. Woot, Woot! I'm kicking ass and losing weight. Now 20 more pounds and I will be happy. It's been hard but I'm going to keep on going. For my birthday I would love to hit my goal, that is my dream.
The kids are doing good. Getting big and keeping me busy all the time. I feel like I have no time to myself when I'm chasing them around the house. Bryce finishes school for the year this wednesday. Then August 10 he starts kindergarton. He is totally pumped about being in school all day like a big kid. Caleb will start preschool next year. He is trying harder at using the potty more so he can go to school like Bryce. Hopefully he'll be fully potty trained before school starts. Aiden is my little terror now. He is into everything and he is getting better at being sneaky. Even with baby gates he can find his way thru. He piggy backs when his brothers forget to lock it after they go thru. Next thing you know he is in the bathroom playing in the toilet. Something about the bathroom.
Well I'm going to get off here. I'm going to try to post on here more but it's hard with 3 little boys running around.
