Halloween Pics

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Taking a break for a few

She wanted to take a pic with the boys

but they were not having it

Doesn't he look thrilled?

Bryce ready to get candy

Bryce ready to get going

Vance and the boys

So since I'm having a slow day, and not feeling to good. Thought I would post the kids pics from last night, before I have the urge to get sick again. The boys have had the runs most the day, so they are crabby and not feeling anything but sleep.

Kids being goofy

Caleb chilling on mommys lap

They wanted to take the camera away from me.

Caleb looks evil in this picture.

Getting ready to attack mommy

Bryce making silly faces.

Bryce wearing his newborn cap.

What's wrong with me?

I have no idea where to start this blog. I have so much anxiety and stress it seems. I want so badly for everything to work out. For everything to get better in the next few months. I have so much to do for baby still. Seriously I have done nothing to get ready for baby. In less you count buying maternity clothes for the pregnancy, because that's about the only thing pregnancy related.

I still have stuff from when I had Bryce and Caleb. But am in need of some stuff. Like crib, car seat, baby tub, clothes, etc. Makes me sound like I have nothing huh? That's what I keep saying but Vance will disagree with me. He seems to have forgotten what all babies need. I told him on November 15 after our 3d ultrasound and I find what we're having I am going to start buying things for baby. Like I plan on getting baby crib and car seat after the ultrasound. Or the next day.
I'm so scared we won't be ready for baby, and my mid wife seems to scare me every time I go in, reminding me how this baby could be early, etc.

On top of that I need to get Lucy to the vet so she can be admitted for heart worms. We've had her for a month on Nov 3. She's on pills right now that are killing the baby heart worms. But she needs to be admitted for shots to kill the adults or queen worm as the vet put it. She lays around all day, the meds keep her pretty tired. She loves to cuddle, all she wants to do is cuddle. Which is nice, when I'm feeling lonely on bed rest.

Oh another thing to get ready for is Christmas, need to get the boys gifts. Not sure what we're getting them yet, even thought Bryce loves telling me what he wants all the time. But every time he changes his mind. Plus we're having family down this year. Not going to Texas since Vance is saving leave for when baby gets here. Probably go down this time next year.

Pregnancy wise I'm doing ok. Bored of bed rest, not much to talk about with a 3yr old all day. I get lonely sitting around the house, which also give me more time to stress about everything we need to have done in the next 3 months. I want everything done so in February all about babys birth, then the move. Yes we have to move right after words. Can't stay in this apartment no longer, plus my neighbors are annoying. If you could come over here and see the stupid shit they do at night you would see why I hate it here.

I wish I could stop stressing about everything. I wish I could get my mind to shut up at night. Its driving me crazy. Try talking to Vance about it, but he doesn't seem to get it. Plus he's been busy with work and now he's getting ready to start classes at CTU. So he won't be home at all really. He keeps reminding me on how busy he'll be. How I probably won't see him til night time. That doesn't seem to help, so use to being able to talk to him more. Now its more like seeing him sleep then off he goes. It sucks. Maybe I'm being to emotional. I have no idea. Just wish I didn't feel so stress or get so depressed easily.

Ugh, now I'm all teary eyed. I really don't even know how to describe how overwealmed I feel right now. I think I need a hug, sounds lame huh? Sometimes I wish I could just scream and maybe I would feel better. Anything to make me not so stressed. *sighs* I've alson notice that when I start stressing my fingers start twitching in different directions and it doesn't stop for awhile. Not sure why, that's new.

Well I'm going to go lay on the couch and cuddle with my doggy. She's laying there waiting for me to come give her some attention. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one like this..that its my hormones or something????

Where did my feet go?

22 weeks and 2 days!

As you can see though from the first picture, my feet have disappeared. I can still see the tip of my big toe so that's something right? If I lay on my back I can pretty much see where baby is laying and watch it swim away when I poke it. :o) Yes I like to poke and play with baby, then baby usually kicks the crap out of me and wins. Since after a few good kicks I need to pee, lol.

So far everything is going good, have a tummy bug going on at the moment. I've gained 6lbs so far this pregnancy, I'm sure that will change since I'm starting to gain a lb a week for baby.

Bryce scared me today, while I was using the bathroom. He unlocked the back door and took Lucy outside to play. I came out of the bathroom to find the patio door open and them both missing. Caleb couldn't get out with them since baby gate was blacking the kitchen. Luckily they were both right outside the door, he was watching Lucy go potty. She came back in when I said come here, unlike Bryce who yelled at me to leave him alone and tried to run away. I'm so glad nothing bad happen to him, but now I'm more paranoid that he might try to get out at night when we're all asleep or something. I hope he never does that again. I tried to talk to him but all he could say was "your mean mommy". He ran in his room screaming your mean for 30mins then passed out for the night. Why do kids do that???? Is he trying to give me an heart attack???

*sighs* I'm going to have another talk with him in the morning when he gets up. I doubt I'll sleep tonight since I'm scared he'll do it again.